The Fat of the Land...

Today I find myself in a wet and windy Exeter, enjoying the hospitality of the library in the city centre which has been thoughtfully provided with a pleasant little coffee shop in the vestibule. The castle backs on to the grounds of a centuries old Norman castle which, in recent years, has been thoughtfully landscaped to provide a very pleasing setting on a warm summer's day. Unfortunately, at the time of writing, warm summer's days are but a distant hope; the ground beneath one's feet squelches to the tread and all is soggy and waterlogged, adding an extra incentive to stay within the confines of the building and enjoy the fayre on offer here.
Apart from a wide variety of cakes and similar comestibles, the fayre seems reasonably fair in this place, in contrast to most establishments I have visited since returning to the UK. What passes for food in this benighted land is normally high in fat, swimming in grease or comes pre-wrapped from a factory, bearing little or no resemblance to anything natural or organic. Quite often these packets come with pretty little labels indexing all the various ingredients and percentages thereof and just how much fat, carbohydrate and protein is contained therein. Little or no food seems to come in its natural form, unprocessed or sans addictive that add little to the nutritional value. 

 
These days, such 'food' is the standard fayre on offer in the UK; if one requires anything beyond the range of these mundane offerings one is required to both search far and wide and to pay out a proverbial arm and a leg. Most don't bother, or simply cannot afford to bother, hence insuring an unremittingly poor diet for themselves and their families.
For all my criticisms of China, and there were many, the diet there is infinitely better (and infinitely cheaper) than it is here. One comes across the odd rotund person in China, but the norm, even into great age, is slim and fit-looking people. The contrast with the UK could not be more stark, and seems to become more and more obvious each time I return from one of my sojourns.
The streets of Exeter seem to be filled to bursting with the rotund, the generously-proportioned, the wide-of-berth, the ample-figured, the big-boned, the plus-sized, the hefty, the chubby, the plump, the obese and even, what we used to call in previous, less politically correct times, the fat. They wibble and wobble down the street, huffing and puffing, panting and grunting; so much so in fact that one is concerned as to their very survival whenever they are met with such severe challenges as an incline, a few steps or a slightly more than normally substantial door..

A close friend of mine insists that these people are their own worst enemies, that the choices they make dictate the state of their bodies, that they really should have the self-discipline to make appropriate food choices and to take a little exercise occasionally. Personally, I feel that is a tad unfair given the type of fayre that is normally on offer in the supermarkets and hostelries of this land. There really isn't that much choice, particularly if you live in straitened circumstances, as so many do in what the Daily Mail insists is economically successful Britain. 

 
Another good friend espouses a type of conspiracy theory wherein the great mass (no pun intended…) of people are fed rubbish in order to render them suitable customers for the pharmaceutical industry as their health inevitably deteriorates. Again, I would not fully subscribe to such ideas, but one has to admit that the average UK citizen is usually imbibing a copious cornucopia of tablets and other forms of medication by the time they reach the ripe old age of fifty. Huge sums do indeed seem to be made at both ends of this equation, firstly in feeding people such poor food as to lead inevitably to obesity, and secondly from the doomed attempts to deal with the concomitant health problems such as cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure and diabetes. 
 
Many moons ago, back in the nineties, I enjoyed an interesting, if somewhat challenging, trip to India. As happens to so many who take on extended visits to that land, I managed to contract a form of 'Dehli-belly' (appropriately enough in Dehli) and came back from my travels some 10 kgs lighter than when I left. The people of the sub-continent were, in those far off days, more or less inevitably slim. A couple of months later, I followed that trip with another to Florida, my first to the United States. The contrast could not have been greater. On my first morning, I came across my first mall and my first food section, stuffed full of fast-food outlets. A few metres in front of me, bound for the same outlets, was a woman of indeterminate age wearing, perhaps unwisely, shorts and a singlet. She must have been at least 150 kgs, probably more. As I observed her ponderous advance towards her fervently desired destination I found myself trying to work out within which folds, of a very high number of folds in her ample legs, her knees were contained. The image reminded me oddly of the Michelin Man in those wonderfully antediluvian French posters.

At the time it was known that the US was in the midst of an obesity crisis. Little did I realise that just a few years later many of those same fast-food outlets would be littering the streets of the UK (and indeed, Europe and the World) bringing with them the subsequent problems and deleterious effects on the nations health, perhaps particularly on a younger generation who have scarcely ever known anything better.
Back in the library café, the rain is lashing hard against the windows as I finish this week's offering. Currently in the West country, it tends to vary between drizzle and violent downpour, so I await my chance to get merely slowly soaked rather than drowned beneath a veritable inundation. In the meantime I have treated my self to a second Americano but, in view of the above, resisted the temptation to indulge in the various cakes, muffins and sticky buns on offer ...

A nice way of putting it...

This week's edition of the blog comes from the cool and pleasant environs of the delightfully named (if somewhat monosyllabic) Ud coffee house on the outskirts of Kanchanaburi. This place has been recommended to me by the ever helpful Heinz, a Swiss ex-pat who seems to have taken up more or less permanent residence in a local guest house and is a veritable mine of useful information. According to Heinz, the staff were friendly, the coffee good, the smoothies better and they were blessed with a rapid and reliable internet connection. What more could a nomadic flaneur ask for ?

During the past week I have had the chance to speak with many ex-pats of various nationalities. Several have expressed concern about the future of Thailand, others were completely blasé. In general though, and for the most part, the majority seem to feel that the current situation is simply 'par for the course' for this country. Those who have been here the longest generally seem more likely to be of the opinion that such coups are a frequent, and sometimes necessary, part of Thai political life. Clearly, the number of tourists is very much down this year but this has its benefits too, especially for those whose life here does not depend on the necessity of earning their living from the dwindling number of visitors. Those that do are somewhat less content...

In particular, there are noticeably less Russians about this year. Kanchanaburi was never particularly popular with them; the site not having the same historical significance as it does for others. Last year, one would often seeing 'luxury' coaches draw up and 50 or 60 Russian sightseers of various shapes and sizes would issue forth, swarm over the Bridge (of 'over the River Kwai' fame) for 20 minutes or so before re-embarking, having ticked off another site on their list. This year, there is scarcely a Russian in sight (or sound) down at the bridge.

Pattaya, in particular, has suffered a huge drop in revenues because of the lack of Russians. The new money had created the appropriate response in that forsaken town, a large number of bars and restaurants catering particularly to the tastes of the (formerly) nouveau riche beneficiaries of Putin's economic miracle. Unfortunately, not only have the tourists from that land had to make a judgement as to the political stability of Thailand, but have also had to deal with a rapidly declining rouble following America's sanctions and the fall in the price of oil. As ever in life though, in most clouds one can find a silver landing; the Russians were perhaps not the most popular of tourists with the Thais although, as ever, they much appreciated the extra revenue.

Most of the non-business owning ex-pats seem largely content with the way things are developing and to feel that there is no problem as long as one avoids getting involved in anything political. For my part, I feel it wise to avoid any potentially problematic areas and keep to more general observations. It is very easy to fall foul of some of the 'catch-all' legislation on the books here. The Generals in charge seem generally to be particularly sensitive to anything that even hints at the possibility of criticism.

During the last week, Daniel Russel, the US Secretary of State for East Asia and the Pacific, whilst visiting Thailand, made a speech in which he expressed America's desire for a quick return to democracy in this country. This did not go down particularly well with the military government and, in particular, with its head, General Prayuth Chan-Ocha, a person perhaps not famed for his patience and tolerance in such matters. A couple of fairly irritated news conferences followed together with a summons to the US Charges d'affaires, Mr. W. Patrick Murphy, who was informed of 'Thailand's' displeasure at Mr. Russel's remarks.

At this stage, a few former Pheu Thai ministers and politicians dared briefly to put their head's above the parapet in support of Russel's speech. This resulted in 'invitations' from the military government to report to army bases for sessions of 'attitude adjustment'. Such euphemistic 'invitations' seem to be much like the 'offer' that could not be refused in 'The Godfather'. Apparently, these adjustments of attitude may take anything from under an hour to overnight sessions, perhaps depending on just how much the attitude in question is in need of adjustment...

Such euphemistic language seems to be much loved by politicians, or even those temporarily acting in political roles. From those who, rather than simply resign, suddenly discover an urgent desire to 'spend more time with their families', to others who, while never actually lying, do admit to 'being economical with the truth' (Former Conservative Defence Minister, Alan Clark and Cabinet Secretary, Robert Armstrong, among many others).

Some years ago, I had the pleasure of working on a dissertation on euphemisms with a very close friend. It was clear that such linguistic niceties were widely used in the political area, but since this particular dissertation was to be delivered at a Chinese university we felt it wiser to steer clear of some of the more sensitive areas. Still, those two euphemistic favourites, sex and death, gave us more than enough material to write several papers.

Death in particular seems to spawn almost endless possibilities, from doctors reporting that their patients were 'now at room temperature' to my personal favourite, when a request to see a particular elderly individual was met with the very pc : 'I am afraid he is no longer playing an active role in the community.'

In Thailand at the moment, the creative use of euphemisms seems to have been elevated to quite wondrous levels. Those behind the coup do not even seem to like the term 'coup', perhaps because of its less than pleasant connotations in other countries, but prefer to call it an element in 'Thai-style democracy'. Mr Russel was chided for the using the term in his speech by the Deputy Foreign Minister Don Paramatwinai. Far from being a coup, at least according to the minister, 'it was in fact a revolution to install stability'.

As something of a lover of the creative use of language, I have to admit to a degree of admiration for the sheer inventiveness of those involved in politics, coups or even 'revolutions to install stability'. The innovative and ingenious use of the language is impressive indeed. One sometimes wonders though, if there is some danger in such language. Those who overuse such terminology in politics often run the risk of being mislead by their own euphemisms, it's an easy trap to fall into...

Back at the Ud coffee house, twilight is beginning to fall and I must ready myself for a crepuscular crawl into town in search of more substantial fayre than is on offer here. As I write these words, life seems very normal in these parts and it is hard to imagine the political tensions of Bangkok impinging to any great extent on the far more docile Kanchanaburi. I sincerely hope this remains the case for the foreseeable future.

Undemocratic democrats and the perils of being a flaneur in Thailand.

On this gorgeous morning your correspondent finds himself sitting in a rather comfortable armchair on the upper deck of a two storey raft moored on the River Kwai. The raft itself is the property of the Noble House Hotel, an establishment whose hospitality I have enjoyed the pleasure of during the past week. The main grounds of the hotel are located on the river bank in the town of Kanchanaburi, Thailand. The place itself is eminently peaceful. My reveries are only briefly interrupted by the groaning of the raft as she settles ever more comfortably down upon the water and the amorous calls of a variety of tropical birds who seem, unlike myself, undismayed by the ever-present heat. Tropical fruit bearing plants grow abundantly on the small islet in front of me: mangoes, bananas, coconuts and more. The odd lizards scurries across the decking. In some ways it almost seems too pleasant, as if one is on a film set rather than reality, so perfect is the setting.

All this peace somewhat belies the political conflict going on in this land at the time of writing. Although Kanchanaburi seems completely serene, apart from the odd drunken reveller or Chinese person letting off fire crackers to celebrate the imminent arrival of the Year of the Horse, it is not so in the capital, Bangkok, nor in many other areas of the South. Thai politics, it seems, are horrendously complicated. The enmities between the rival factions are deep and bitter. The main parties are locked in a death-match to gain control of the governance of this country. As ever with politicians, they promise all kinds of reforms and changes if only you will vote for them. Also, as ever, the reality usually degrades into one form of corruption or another once they actually achieve the sought after power. This patterns seems ubiquitous the world over although in the West we are often better at hiding, or even institutionalising, our corruption. We sometimes speak of advisers from industry on trade missions when what is really meant is arms dealers (suitably suited and booted of course, but arms dealers nevertheless) or lobbyists in parliament whose soul raison d'etre is to influence government in favour of whatever corporation they represent.

Here in Thailand the main parties have wonderfully idealistic sounding names such as the United Front for Democracy Against Dictatorship or the People's Democratic Reform Committee.

The latter has been the main instigator behind the problems in the capital of late. There is an election due to take place on February 2nd. Unfortunately for the PDRC it is an election they are very likely to lose. Therefore, rather than campaigning harder to convince people of their relative merit, the party has decided that what the country needs is an interim government that is to be appointed rather than elected before any further elections are to take place. Naturally such a government would have a large number of representatives from the PDRC. How's that for democratic reform!? The democratic reform they seem to have in mind gets rid of democracy itself!

Unfortunately, in human affairs, and particularly those involving politics and politicians, these oxymoronic paradoxes are all too common place. The eminently wise George Orwell ably pointed this out in his political opus '1984'. In that book the Ministry of Truth was responsible for propaganda, the Ministry of Love oversaw the imprisonment and torture of those deemed threatening to the system, and the Ministry of Peace was primarily engaged in prosecuting wars. Old George knew a thing or two about how these things work. Years later, another George, who unfortunately didn't seem to know very much about anything at all, was still cunning enough to use similarly misleading euphemisms when describing the activities of his government (you will understand that I use the word 'government' in its loosest sense when referring to the regime of George W. Bush).

Perhaps, amongst the many examples of double-speak that spring to mind when talking of the doings of GWB, the most obvious examples would be the employment of such terms as 'enhanced interrogation techniques' (read – torturing people), 'extraordinary rendition' (read - moving people to places where they could be tortured) and 'protective custody' (read – imprisoning people without charge or trial). Such semantic machinations would be merely amusing if it were not for their dark intent.

Meanwhile, back in Thailand the election is fast approaching and the PCDR is preparing for the big day by promising not to disenfranchise people or block them from expressing their democratic right to cast a vote. They say their intention is merely to protest and make their point at the polling stations throughout Bangkok and the South. What this actually means in practice is that they intend, if at all possible, to disenfranchise people and block their democratic right to cast a vote.

Tis ever strange how such promises on the lips of politicos so often mean the exact opposite of the words spoken. One thinks of a certain Nick Clegg and his promise not to raise tuition fees in the UK or George's dad, George Bush Snr, who once famously stated: “Read my lips, no new taxes” and then promptly created some once elected.

Some things never change it would appear – the dissimulation of politicians seems to be as unlimited as their desire for us to trust them, despite the long and inglorious history that would indicate that, for the most part, it would be wiser not to .

Back on the raft floating gently on the Kwai all remains the very essence of serenity. The amorously inclined birds know little of such political shenanigans and care even less. I sip my coffee and wonder at the gullibility of people to forever believe in such characters. They come, they fool a few people for a time, they go again only to be replaced by the next generation.

Sitting here in the morning sun it is hard not to be impressed by the sheer beauty of this country. As I look over to my left the river bank is ablaze with colour as the bougainvillea cascades down towards the water. Here and there orchids hang gracefully down, so exquisite, seemingly so delicate. It all feels so calm,  so serene right now. I only hope that this peace remains in the days and weeks following the upcoming elections. Your nomadic flaneur has no wish to become a war correspondent.

 Only time will tell.