Thai Lessons...

This week's blog comes from the pleasant confines of the Korn Cafe in Chang An. It is located in a small commercial area adjacent to the rather august town square. Unusually for China, the area has been designed as a pedestrians only precinct, which makes strolling in its environs so much pleasanter than usual. The whole area is somewhat italianate in style, even going so far as to include a three story campanile at its heart.  The lack of traffic almost draws a sigh from me, so pleasant it is to be free at last from that ever-present intrusion. In such conditions, one feels free to focus on the task of composing this week's offering. As ever, when writing these blogs, I find myself to have a wide range of possibilities to choose from, each with its own merits. In the end though, I have concluded that a little reflection on some of the lessons learnt in Thailand would not come amiss.

These tips are intended to be helpful to the would-be traveller. The idea is to allow the enjoyment of some of the pleasanter aspects whilst avoiding some of the more 'catch-all' pitfalls that seem to ensnare so many there. Thailand is a very beautiful country, which the discerning traveller can enjoy on many levels; it is also extremely dangerous, both on a personal safety level and, particularly at the time of writing, on the political level. So, without further ado, here are my own personal top ten tips for enjoying the time you spend in Thailand. Bear in mind, as you read these tips, that they are the work of a middle-aged Westerner who has a penchant for enjoying his pleasures slowly; they may not, indeed defintitely will not, apply to everyone.

1.     Beware of hiring motorbikes! My own personal experience lasted about twelve hours before my orientation was changed from the vertical to the horizontal by a van driver who had apparently never quite got his head around the concepts of lanes. My experience was by no means unique; hundreds, maybe even thousands, of tourists are injured or even killed each year on the roads of Thailand. Much like myself, many came with years of experience of motorbikes and think they should be able to handle themselves relatively easily in this new situation. Thailand is not Europe though, it is not the US either. Totally different rules apply here or, to be more exact, no rules apply here. There is much to recommend the carefree approach to life that many Thais have, it makes them a joyful and happy people, but perhaps it does not serve them that well on the road, where it comes across as irresponsibility, immaturity and an almost total lack of imagination as to the consequences of their actions.

2.     If you wish to stay on the outside of Thailand's infamous prisons, then don't say anything about the King, his extended family, or even the concept of monarchy itself. You may feel that monarchy is wonderful or you may consider it the ridiculous remnants of a particularly poor form of government but, in Thailand, keep your views to yourself.  In the legal system in Thailand, there is a particularly 'diffficult' piece of legislation that comes under the apparently benign heading of section 112. This relates to the 'lese majeste' laws. 'Lese majeste' applies to anyone who "defames, insults or threatens the king, the queen, the heir-apparent or the regent", and can be punished with up to 15 years in prison. Many rational observers of the situation may view this as quite obscenely excesssive, but be warned, it is the law in Thailand and ignoring that fact could land you in a very 'challenging' situations indeed!

3.     If you plan to stay in the country for anything longer than a couple of weeks, do yourself a favour and at least make some attempt at learning a little of the language. No one will expect you to know that much, the Thais themselves realise that it is not an easy language for Westerners to master based as it is on the use of tones (much like mandarin), but ... making the effort will garner you much respect from the locals. The very basic of basics in Thailand is the phrase 'Sawadee Kah' (if you are a female, 'Sawadee Khrap' if you are a male). You will be greeted by this phrase, sometimes accompanied by a prayer like hand-gesture knowing as 'wai-ing', everywhere you go. It is polite to respond in like fashion. This greeting works for 'hello', 'good morning', 'good day' or even 'good night'. If you can manage nothing else, at least use this phrase!

4.     This one is kinda obvious, but perhaps worth re-stating as it is such a basic truth about Thailand: it is hot! Not hot as in a 'phew, what a scorcher' type day in the UK. Such a day would be considered very mild here. Not hot as in a pleasant Pensylvania afternoon where the mercury pushes pleasantly past the mid 20's C., but hot as in really, really hot. When I left a week ago now, the temperature was around 41C. (106 F.). This basically means that it is best to confine physical activity to the two ends of the day and to avoid any such exertion between the hours of 1330 and 1630. My own favourite way of coping, as befits a flaneur, was to duck into an air conditioned cafe and either read (usually the excellent Bangkok Post or novels by Henry Miller, my personal favourite 'du jour'), write, follow your nose on the internet or, as many Thais do (when they decide not to simply 'kip' it out), indulge in a little socialising. Make sure you drink enough. Tis not enough to sip occasionally – you need to think in terms of three to four litres of liquid per day. Failure to do so can result in such things as heat stroke. I personally experienced this in Chiang Mai a while back and I would not recommend the experience!

5.     Get yourself out into the countryside. Many visitors to Thailand go to Bangkok or Patthaya and believe they have see the country. Both these places have their attractions, but are more suited to certain classes of tourists than others. There is so much natural beauty in Thailand as to make the experience quite mind-boggling at times. The fauna and flora are a wonder to behold; the place quite literally teems with life. In recent months, the Thai military government, it their seemingly infinite wisdom, have decided to put the prices up in the National Parks. For Thais, they increased the charges a tiny amount, meaning that the entrance fee for natives is now around 40 baht (£0.80). For tourists, it went up a very large amount to the literally princely sum of 400 baht (£8.00). This, apparently, was a popular move with some Thais, but is hardly likely to help the already severely flagging tourist industry. Luckily, there is far, far more natural beauty in Thailand than is confined by the National Parks.

6.     The last point allows a rather neat seque into the next: the inherent racism within Thai culture. This comes as something of a shock to those who expect a Buddhist based culture of tolerance and acceptance. To be fair, Thais are generally pretty tolerant and accepting, and certainly friendly by nature, but the casual racism with which they regard outsiders can become a tad annoying at times. To be even fairer, it is far from unknown for other groups of people to harbor similar delusions of their own grandeur and believe they are in some way special, chosen or somehow better than others, but the Thais are more open about it than most. This is a somewhat controversial issue, indeed many will deny that it exists at all, often using some pretty impressively convoluted logic to demonstrate how attitudes towards farangs are not racist. My opinion, for what it is worth, is that such people are in some sort of denial. There is a belief for many Thais (by no means all), unfounded and unsupported by any fact, that anyone not Thai is not as intelligent, are culturally less developed, and are of lesser ability and value. The value of Thai superiority is drummed into the kids from an early age, and if they have never left the country, they will encounter few views amongst their peer group to contradict this somewhat odd notion.

7.     On a somewhat less controversial note, one has to say that Thai food is simply superb. I cannot vouch for the whole range as I am vegetarian and therefore refrain from the many meat and fish dishes on offer. Even given that restriction, the choice is still amazingly large, invariably tasty and very uniquely Thai. My personal favourite was Rad Naa, a dish of mixed vegetables in a bean gravy, served in a high-sided bowl with some very thick noodles. Away from Bangkok, in the smaller towns, the food tends to be very fresh and often locally sourcecd. The drinks are also a pleasure, particularly the many forms of fruit shakes, although care needs to be taken with these because of the Thai's habit of sweetening everything, usually with some form of a syrup or just straight sugar. On the more natural side of things, coconuts are a boon. The juice is great for rehydrating; many believe it to be as good as over-the-counter phramaceuticals such as rehydrat. You also get the pleasure of spooning out the white flesh afterwards. Fruit is also both varied, fresh and amazingly cheap.

8.     Speaking of fruits (as in 'oranges are not the only … '), I think I should say a few words about kaetoys. Many a guy has gone into a bar in Thailand and, not quite believing their luck, found himself 'pulling' a stunning looking 'girl', only to discover on subsequent inspection that what he has pulled is not a girl at all, but comes complete with the extra plumbing more commonly associated with being a guy. My only advice in such circumstances, would be to extract yourself (no pun intended … ) as seemingly and as politely as possible. Of course, there are some who feel that such a situation is not a problem at all. If this is what rocks your particular boat, then I personally have no problem with that. A good friend of mine, oddly with an often expressed horror of homosexuality, feels that spending his nights in Thailand with ladyboys does not qualify for that epithet. I would respectfully beg to differ but … each to his own!

Yes, they are all ladyboys. One cannot blame some guys for getting a tad confused at times!

9.     For my ninth tip, I think I will go back to the problems of travelling in Thailand. Covering long distances by rail can be an onerous chore, mainly due to the slowness of the trains. Because of this factor, and because of the relative expense of flying, many choose to utilise the long-distance buses. They certainly look and feel luxurious, usually being double-decked and having such creature comforts as wi-fi, TV and deeply reclining chairs. The problem I have with this mode of transport is twofold. Firstly, the construction: as one blogger noted, these things seem to be 'made of discarded yoghurt cartons and held together by paper clips'. One sees them being worked on in grubby workshops, guys with acetylene torches welding skinny struts together that look as if one could easily bend them with minimal force and using just one hand, if so desired.  Secondly, the drivers: these are sometimes completely knackered before they even start, having worked unreasonably long hours.They can also be beetle-juice fuelled maniacs, often with little or no experience, but who do have a somewhat inconsiderate habit of disappearing once they have wrapped the bus around a tree or plunged it over a ravine. It seems that almost every week one reads of yet another multi-fatality accident involving these things. If at all possible, it is better to steer clear...

10.    The final tip that I have room for addresses the problem of accommodation. Hotel prices are cheap in Thailand. If you are paying anything more than £25 a night away from Bangkok, then you should be living in some kind of air-conditioned palace. Reasonably luxurious rooms can be had for far, far less. If you wish to stay in any one place for an extended length of time, say a month or more, then think about renting a flat or house. This was my personal choice and I ended up in a flat with a single bedroom, lounge, bathroom and verandah, complete with TV and wifi thrown in, for the princely sum of £60. A German friend found a very decent and much more modern flat, complete with air conditioning and access to a garden, for £50. Houses in Kanachanaburi started from around £100 a month and a two bedroom place with access to a pool could be had for £135. Not at all bad methinks, such an amount would not even cover the council tax back in the UK.

Having come to the end of my ten tips, I have the feeling that there is so much more that I have left out. Such things as haggling, arranging your own trips, local buses, spiritual retreats and best value buys all deserve a mention, but space and time are at a premium, so I had better wrap-up this weeks missive at this point.

My newly found watering-hole is still quiet and pleasant, even though the time has moved on to five in the evening now. As cafes go in China, I have to say that this is definitely one of the better offerings. The pleasantness of the ambient music (nice and quiet!), the availability of magazines and books, the sumptuous nature of the sofa-like chairs, all go to make an excellent impression. Last week, I was feeling somewhat cynical as to the standard and the interest of cafes on offer in China, or at least in this part of that enormous land. This week, much to my surprise, I have come across several really rather plesant offerings which shall be explored and reported upon over the next few blogs. A pleasant prospect for a foot-weary flaneur!

Slowcoach on a slow coach...

This week, after an six thousand mile journey, your nomadic flaneur finds himself in a small offshore island off the coast of Europe that, as far as he can tell from consulting various periodicals, seems to be obsessed with minor celebrities (at least if one is to judge from the headlines in many of the newspapers). It actually feels quite odd to go from the quality reporting of the Bangkok Post to the pun-plagued drivel offered up by The Sun or the outraged indignation that The Daily Mail serves up as news. It seems that high-quality, English news reporting is alive and well – in Thailand!

Previously, during my sojourn in SE Asia, I had read about the effects of pollution in China on the North Atlantic weather system, erudite discussions as to whether globalisation has actually benefited the world's economies and in depth analysis of the crisis in the Crimea. Imbibing coffee at a Costas in a suburb on the outskirts of London known as Buckhurst Hill, I find myself perusing The Sun which seems more concerned with a crooner known as '1D Louis' going to a snooker tournament, , the sartorial obsessions of a geriatric transvestite and the photogenic delights of Mel, 21, from Kent which, it has to be admitted, are quite pleasant. None of this though could one accurately describe as 'news'.

Welcome back to Blighty!

One cannot fail to notice how cold it is here. Friends have assured me that the weather has actually picked up of late, but going from an admittedly oppressive 41C in Kanchanaburi to a subjectively chilly 15C in NW Essex has come as something of a shock. I even resorted to some artificial warmth on offer at the Loughton Leisure Centre but still found that it seemed to take a remarkably long time for my body to feel comfortable even in the gloomy confines of the small, cell-like room that passes for a sauna there.

I look back from this time and place to the last few days in Thailand with some degree of fondness. On the Sunday my task was to get from Kanchanaburi to the Thong Ta Resort Hotel close to Bangkok's main airport, Savarnabhumi. The journey should normally consume about four hours or so. Indeed, if you are prepared to take the risk, you can take a minibus direct to the airport in less than three. I chose to give myself, as befits a person given to flaneurial activities, ten hours.

Giving oneself this degree of time has a strange and pleasantly interesting effect on one's psychological state whilst engaged in such a journey. A week before I had escorted a very close and dear friend to Bangkok's second airport, Don Meuang. We had given ourselves a couple of extra hours for the journey 'just in case', but still found ourselves rushing at the end and having to say an all too quick 'goodbye'. For my part, I was determined to avoid such a stressful end to what had been a very pleasant, and remarkably relaxed, sojourn to Thailand.

The first thing to consider was which mode of transport to take. After experiencing the various life-threatening options on offer in this part of SE Asia I decided to be guided by an article I read by an ex-pat on the types of buses on offer. The so-called 'luxury' buses, particularly those of the double-decker variety, are mostly made in Thailand or China. As the writer put it, the majority of the superstructure seems to consists of 'paper-clips and yoghurt cartons'. Flimsy would be too strong a word to describe the nebulous nature of these designs. They have the tendency to collapse into much smaller particles if and, all too often, when involved in any kind of incident.

The ubiquitous mini-buses are also not a great option. They may not be so poorly constructed as the double-deckers but still leave plenty of room for improvement. Passengers and luggage are stuffed into every available space so one is more or less guaranteed an uncomfortable journey. Added to this the fact that most of the drivers tend to be somewhat less than careful (read: complete maniacs), then this mode of transport also becomes less than attractive. Merely uncomfortable I can take, terrifying I would rather avoid.

Finally, I settled on the regular bus to Bangkok's Southern Bus Terminal (Sai Tai Taling Chan). The bus utilised for this service tends to be an old European Volvo or maybe an ancient Scania. Whilst they may be very long in the tooth, they do tend to be very solidly built. The age of such buses can be an advantage in itself as the driver often finds himself confined to speeds of somewhat less than 50 mph. Normally, one would think of such slowness as a disadvantage but in Thailand, such a lack of pace is often experienced as a blessed relief.

The joy of such a loose time-table gives one the time to enjoy each and every part of the journey and take pleasantly elongated breaks in between the various phases. As in many other areas, our speed obsessed times tend to dissipate so many of the pleasures in life that often depend on the ability to take one's time and allow oneself to 'savour the flavour' of whatever experience is on offer. In travel, as in many other areas, the joys of slowness, of taking your time, become more and more apparent when you actually allow yourself to experience life in this way. For many, such a change of attitude will almost bring on a feeling of guilt at first, as if the compulsion to rush around at ever greater speeds is almost a moral imperative. We are told we must not 'waste time', as if time itself were something you could save up. Once one begins to open up to the joys of slowness though, the realisation begins to dawn that life and its pleasures are often far better experienced when you give yourself sufficient time to do just that.

On arrival at Kanchanaburi bus station, I treated myself to a blueberry smoothie, parked myself on a nearby bench, and spent a few minutes just observing the huge variety of humanity passing through whilst I awaited the departure of the 10.30 bus. Saffron robed and shaven-headed Buddhist monks, often texting away on mobile phones, European back-packers seemingly oblivious to the ideals of minimalism, carting huge and heavy rucksacks (oddly, there seemed to be an inverse ratio between the size of the person and the weight of the luggage – huge, blond-headed Swedish guys carrying next to nothing, whilst tiny lasses from France and Spain laboured under humongously weighty packs that a Nepalese sherpa would have considered challenging), Thais wondering around with blood-shot eyes who, all too often, turned out to be drivers... so much to see in in such a place when one takes the time.

The bus did indeed turn out to be pleasantly slow and generally seemed to move in a somewhat crablike, side-to-side, motion every time the driver applied the throttle. This meant that he had to proceed at an even slower pace than normal for this age of bus, a fact that I found myself appreciating greatly.

Eventually, some three hours later, we arrived at the Southern Bus Terminal. This is located on the edge of Bangkok and offers one a variety of ways of getting into the centre of town. For an hour or so I forsook all such options as I headed for the row of cheap and cheerful restaurants inside the terminal and treated myself to some rather tasty noodles and a cup of coffee for the princely sum of 60 baht (about $1.50). This was followed by a slow wander around the market next to the ticket hall where all manner of goods could be purchased (or, in my case, forsaken) for very reasonable prices. Normally, the temptations of such fare have little effect on me unless I have a specific need. On this occasion, I have to admit, I came close to being seduced by the offer of Android tablets, complete with front and rear cameras, for less than $50.

And so, by and by, my journey continued. Each section of my five stage journey offering the opportunity to enjoy a break here, a walk there, the odd snack or even a full meal. When one gives oneself such a leisurely schedule, the situation changes from an onerous task to an interesting indulgence.

Indeed, this attitude of taking all the time needed to enjoy the numerous and multifarious distractions of Thailand (or whatever part of the world one happens to find oneself) adds much to the pleasure of such journeying. I remember, in my distant youth, meeting an American whose head was swathed in bandages. I asked him what had happened. He replied that after 'doing' Paris the day before, he had flown down to Zermatt in Switzerland so he could 'do' the Matterhorn. Whilst rushing up a mountain path to get the doing done, he had slipped and fallen down a steep escarpment. He was most concerned when I spoke to him that his injuries may not allow him to 'do' Vienna the next day!

That was many, many moons ago now, but the impression made by that short conversation with a frenetic American in the Swiss countryside has stayed with me ever since. In the intervening years the pace of life has, for many at least, become even faster as we chase we know not what. Modern society seems to have become much like a former associate of mine of whom it was said: “She doesn't know what she wants, but she knows she wants it now!”

The role of the flaneur is to hold up a mirror to such attitudes, to demonstrate than such desperate chasing is not compulsory, or even healthy, and to show that there is another way. In an age of fast-food, fast-links and fast seemingly everything, there is a need to show that 'fast' needn't be the only game in town. If something is worth doing then it is worth doing slowly...

Reckless but not wreck less...

Saturday 5th April 2014 finds Kanchanaburi recovering from the storm of the night before. I personally was on the way back from Bangkok when the storm struck. The normal two and a quarter hours for the journey stretched to nearly four hours as the rain lashed down and some of the most spectacular lightning I have ever seen lit up the paddy fields, temples and forests. As we drove along we hit streams of water flooding across the carriageway. In traditional Thai style, the driver made the usual allowance for the changing conditions... i.e., none at all. We were also slowed by the police trying to clear away the remains of an accident. A white saloon car had met head on with a small pick up truck coming in the opposite direction. Judging from the damage to the vehicles, they had probably met head on. The truck wasn't too bad but the drivers compartment of the car had been modified out of existence. I hope the driver survived but fear that is an unlikely outcome...

Arriving back in Kanchanaburi I found the town recovering from the effects of the storm. Many branches and even fallen trees littered the streets and there was still extensive flooding in some parts of town. On a happier note, the air was delightfully cool which came as something of a relief as recent daytime temperatures had often been in excess of 40C. The town itself in the area of the night market was eerily quiet and I found it something of a pleasure to stroll down the normally bustling streets in such a situation.

The Thais have a pragmatically fatalistic way of dealing with such situations and tend not to overly concern themselves about such troubles. They will merely pick themselves up, dust themselves down and start all over again. This is to be admired in many ways, such an attitude allows them to adjust relatively smoothly to coping with some fairly extreme weather and other tribulations. One could even say they can be enviably phlegmatic.

The flip side of this attitude though is an almost unbelievable recklessness that has to be experienced to be believed. I referred to this several weeks ago during my blogs from Chiang Mai. At the end of one of those I reported an accident which killed 15, mostly children, involving a long distance bus. In the few weeks since at least two more such accidents have occurred (probably more actually – I only get to hear about those involving multiple fatalities). In the first a bus plunged off the Khun Pha Muang Bridge and fell some 165 feet before hitting the ground below. 29 people came to a rather sticky end in this particular incident. The bus driver is believed to have fallen asleep. 

The second incident involved a double decker bus choosing to overtake cars whilst going down a very steep slope coming off a mountain in Tak province. The road is question is a known accident black spot (where isn't in Thailand!?). The steepness of the road is notorious but this section is also replete with S bends. None of this was apparently of much concern to the driver (he later claimed that his brakes had failed – given the nature of the road and the type of manoeuvres he was involved in it would appear hardly surprising that an 8 ton bus would be hard to stop in such circumstances). The bus smashed through a concrete barrier and tumbled over several times before coming to rest in a crumpled heap some 100 feet below. Another 30 died in this incident with 22 seriously injured casualties being taken to hospital.

Any one of these accidents happening in Europe would be considered as something of a disaster. Here in Thailand they are almost a weekly occurrence. In Europe there would be an inquiry and recommendations made to how to avoid such an accident in future. Here they just hose down the road and start again. In the words of Catherine Tate “they ain't bothered”.

Oddly, although driving standards are pretty low throughout SE Asia, Thailand has by far the worst record. Conditions aren't that radically different in Malaysia or Vietnam and yet their accident rates are far, far lower.

This recklessness isn't confined to the road but finds expression in many other aspects of life here. In a weeks time we will be starting the annual Songkran festival, or Thai New Year. For a country that already has its hair fairly low slung at the best of times they will be letting it down even more during this festival. The bars and the roads will be full of inebriated people who somehow seem to believe, much against the evidence, that misfortune will not befall them. In the week of Songkran last year 321 people died and 3040 were injured...and that is just the official figures. Reality is probably much higher.

The government's (and in Thailand one uses that term very loosely) role in all this seems to be to make the odd gesture but then carry on mcuh the same as ever. I recently read that, according to Thai government figures, only around 50% of motorcyclists wear crash helmets in this country. Having read this, and in the spirit of accurate reportage, I bought myself a coffee and sat beside the road in the tourist area of Kanchanaburi. As I slowly sipped my beverage I counted the number of compliant motorcyclists driving past. The first one hundred provided me with exactly three who actually wore a crash helmet. Now, my maths are not great but I believe that is not quite 50%, in fact, I am pretty certain that comes to a grand total of er...3%! To be fair that was just one sample on one day at one place but I think it makes the point. In Thailand the government are there to paper over the cracks, not to address the issue.

Whilst considering this week's article I came across a somewhat macabre but very typical story from the outskirts of Bangkok. Some workers found a World War 2 bomb in fields whilst digging and thought this was a chance to make a little extra money on the side. They manhandled(!) it into the back of a pick up truck and drove through the city where they deposited it a scrap merchant who paid them for their troubles. At this stage, a couple of the staff in the shop started to address the problem of what to do with such a large metalic object and decided that the best solution would be to attack it with an acetylene torch. Luckily for them, at that moment an elderly lady who had seen such things in her distant childhood warned them of the potential dangers and advised them to report it to the police. Unfortunately, with a literally breathtaking degree of recklessness, they chose to ignore her advice and continued to cut into the casing. The old lady ran...

About a minute later, as the old girl was warning her sister in a nearby house, the bomb exploded wiping out a considerable area of the local neighbourhood. The elderly lady and her sister fortunately survived, although their house was completely destroyed. The men doing the cutting died along with a couple of the workers who had found the bomb; they had decided to stick around and watch the process of the 'dismantling' of the explosive device. Altogether, seven people died and nineteen were injured.

This sort of thing is almost comic in its absurdity but entirely symptomatic of a type of craziness that seems to be uniquely Thai. In my time in the UK I recall people forever bemoaning the Health and Safety at Work Act, and with some justification. The fussiness of some of the measures taken bordered on the extreme but... when you experience a country that takes almost the polar opposite approach you begin to understand and appreciate the benefits of caution.

I recently took a stroll in Erawan National Park famous for the seven stages of its waterfall. It is indeed a beautiful sight as it cascades down the hill via a series of pools and streams. Some of the paths though are made up of bridges with planks missing, extremely slippery rocks over which water is running (often with twenty or thirty foot falls right beside), and stairways that one could only describe as rickety. None of it would be allowed to open in the UK. Here in Thailand it is not even considered a problem unless someone has an accident. There is no sense of foresight, so sense of anticipation, no concept of avoiding the problem before it happens...only the notion of clearing up the mess and starting over again once it does.

Erawan is spectacularly beautiful and quite an experience in and of itself. I would advise anyone with a love of natural beauty to go but...be cautious! There are many objective dangers and one needs to be aware that such things as the maintenance of paths, bridges and stairs have a very low priority here. One regularly sees tourists stumbling down off the mountain with all manner of cuts, sprains and bruises. At times, there is a tendency for much worse accidents to occur too.

 My time in this beautiful country is fast coming to an end and, if all goes to plan, I will be in the UK within a couple of weeks. There are many aspects to this land that are fascinating and beautiful and it truly does live up to its reputation as 'the land of smiles'. There are many aspects that I will miss greatly, particularly in regard to the sheer abundance of all things natural here. A few metres from here where I am typing these words flows the River Kwai. On its banks a person can spend many a happy hour simply observing nature in all her colourful profusion. Life teems here. Unfortunately, life is also cheap here in a way that is difficult for someone raised in Europe to comprehend. That is one aspect of this fascinating and enigmatic land that will not be missed by your nomadic flaneur...

Risky Business...

Today the joys of nomadic flaneurie have brought me to a quiet and pleasant little guest house in the Northern Thai city of Chang Mai. Sarah's Guest House lies just a couple of hundred metres from the the moat and city wall of the old town. The place has a pleasant, although slightly run-down ambience of the sort that one often comes across in Thai cities. In such a hot country, the architectural emphasis is often on maximising air-flow and coolness and so it is that I find myself sitting beneath the stilted verandah listening to the sounds of water trickling from a small fountain whilst enjoying the first bowl of porridge that I have had the pleasure of consuming for many a month.

Chiang Mai is Thailand's second city and lies in the extreme North of the country. At the time of writing there are still some uncertainties as to how the current political turmoil here will pan out and the future looks somewhat uncertain for this beautiful land. One of the possibilities that has been mooted is the division of the country between the North and the South. If this did indeed come to pass then the city of Chiang Mai could, one day, find itself the capital of Siam. Oddly, the name Siam was originally used to denote people with dark brown skin (from Sanskrit) and was meant in a slightly derogatory sense. The people of the north are indeed slightly darker than those further south. Present day Thailand is a curious mixture of various ethnic groups held together by the oft asserted notion of 'Thainess'. Much work is done in schools to reinforce the idea of this identity but there still exists tensions between the different groups that all too often flare up in political strife and sometimes even violence.

Thailand does, at times, feel like a dangerous place to be, despite its undeniable beauty. Not only do the politics appear to be potentially problematic but day to day life in Thailand can be risky in itself. I read only last week of the very common practice here of injecting formalin (a form of formaldehyde) into fruits and vegetables to maintain their freshness longer. It does indeed have that effect, but unfortunately also leads to health problems of various sorts, some relatively minor such as skin irritation or sneezing, but long term ingestion can lead to consequences the details of which are far too gruesome to go into here.

There is a fairly loose and patchy application of the law in this land, an attitude that permeates life from the highest social strata to the lowest. An obvious example would be the law requiring the wearing of crash helmets. This was passed in 1979 in view of the high number of fatalities in motor cycle accidents suffered by the people of Thailand. Standing on any street in a major city in this country one will mostly notice crash helmets by their absence. In a very short time hoards of motor cyclists will pass by but only about one in four will actually be complying. You may even notice a nearby police checkpoint but very little actual in the way of a response from the policemen inside. I originally heard that the law only applied to foreign nationals. An understandable misunderstanding as they seem to be the only ones who are stopped; there normally follows a stealthy financial transaction quite costly for the poor tourist involved but more profitable for the representative of the local constabulary.

One would think that travelling by bus would be a safer option in Thailand, and one would be right but... it is merely a relative safety; buses in Thailand cannot be considered safe per se. The drivers, particularly of the mini-buses, have to work long hours to make a living. Rumour has it that they often imbibe yaba, a substance that enables them to keep going for extended periods but also produces a certain psychological intensity that leads to feelings of being 'bullet-proof', perhaps not the ideal state to be driving buses in...

My own personal experiences of travelling by this mode of transport in Thailand has lead me to revise much what I thought I knew about the laws of physics. Certainly it would seem that buses can get around sharp bends at far higher speeds than I had previously considered possible. Also, my perception of space would seem to be somewhat awry as often these self-same buses manage to squeeze through gaps that appeared to be almost narrower than the bus itself (at speed, naturally). Such driving does indeed take minutes off the journey but one feels it may be a pyrrhic victory as it feels as if it may also take years off of one's life in terms of the stress entailed.

Before I was privy to much of this knowledge I rather naively hired a motor bike from one of the numerous shops supplying this service in Kanchanaburi. The day itself proved to be an excellent adventure whilst I rode around the hills and mountains of West Central Thailand near the border with Myanmar. Unfortunately, the return to the city lead to a change in my relationship to surface of the planet from the vertical to the horizontal when a white van (some things never change) pulled out from the side across two lanes and into yours truly.

Nursing eleven abrasions, three large bruises, two egg-shaped contusions and a bump on my head (luckily I had insisted on having a crash helmet) later that evening, I could not help but notice similar casualties amongst my fellow travellers in Kanchanaburi. One chap was so swathed in bandages that he looked almost mummified. Understandably, he was moving with the slowness one associates with the role; one could almost feel his pain just by looking at him.

Many years ago a very famous Greek mathematician who went by the name of Pythagoras, although at the time he was known as much for his philosophy as for his mathematics, pointed out the shortcomings in our approach to risk when he said: “Self chosen are the woes that befall man.”

We are indeed all too often the architects of our own downfall. A more modern quote, oft cited by my brother in regards to his flying activities, seems apt: “There are old pilots and there are bold pilots, but there are not many old, bold pilots!”

The avoidance of risk is often decried in our modern world but, as one matures, one begins to understand that brash risk taking is better left to the brash. Again, Pythagoras had something to say on the subject, advising that it would be better to avoid such misadventures and instead to “live quietly in the constant light of truth.” Deeply unfashionable maybe, but then again so many of the best things in life are.

Truth itself, of course, is often hard to come by. When faced with the truly alarming road traffic fatality rate in Thailand the politicians decided to do something about it. The measure taken did indeed lead to a halving of the fatality rate in just one year. I hear you ask 'what could they have possibly done to lead to so successful an outcome?' The measure they employed to reduce the appalling figures entailed changing the way they collected the statistics. Now in Thailand if you leave the scene with a semblance of a pulse you are not considered a fatality. No matter if you die thirty seconds later in the ambulance you are no longer deemed to be a road traffic fatality but are lumped into some other, less controversial, statistical category instead. This solution, if one may call it that, did indeed work but one cannot help but feel that it rather misses the point...

 Back at Sarah's Guest House I seem to have been befriended a couple of wandering felines. Such debates about the nature of risk taking are of no interest to them it seems, but a soft scratch behind the ears or a full length stroke to the tip of the tail is far more to their liking. Soft Thai music is playing in the background and this place remains agreeably cool and pleasant despite its proximity to the centre of Chiang Mai. 

Shortly, I will have to head out into the frenetic chaos and mechanised madness that typifies the roads around the old city. Beyond that though, there are areas of surprising calm inside the walls themselves. Within these precincts a local Wat (Buddhist Temple) offers massages for the princely sum of 140 baht ($3) for an hour. So far on this trip I have forsaken the temptations of such therapeutic interventions due to some of the more compromising aspects that are involved in some of the commercial establishments. This injured body though would appreciate some tender loving care at this point, so I think that a visit to the temple would indeed be in order. So, without further ado, I think I will take my leave for another week with a final, apposite thought... take care out there!

A short and rather sad addendum to this post. Following my massage I was strolling around the old town when I came across today's Bangkok Post. It told of yet another bus accident, this time leading to the loss of 15 passengers, mostly children, with 45 more injured. The driver of the bus was unlicensed and fled the scene. The unpleasant details can be seen here: 

http://www.bangkokpost.com/news/local/397583/school-bus-tragedy-kills-15-injures-45